Bill, aka the Crazy Clock Guy, aka Hey You (tallguy) wrote,
Bill, aka the Crazy Clock Guy, aka Hey You
tallguy

While Kat and I were doing some housecleaning, I found my old paper journals from 1991 and 1992. I was up until 4:00am reading about someone I hadn't met in over 10 years. Back then, all I had to worry about was waking a few bucks, working on my car, getting drunk and trying to get laid. I feel like Kevin Spacey when he was buying the pot. It was fascinating reading about my impressions of my first car, first seious job, first apartment, and the first time I had sex.

It made me realize that I have been taking life entirely too seriously. I have been so worried about the day-to-day routine and the constant and unsatisfied drive for MORE (more money, more stuff, more time, etc) that I have forgotten to just slow down and take things as they come. That doesn't mean that I am going to drop everything, quit my job, by a classic muscle car, and start partying. I AM, however, going to start taking care of myself. I don't want to be selfish, but maybe a little selfishness wouldn't be so bad. I shouldn't be afraid to do things (or not do things) becuase that is what I want, not becuase I am following the crowd.

Just to reassure KAT, this is not my midlife crisis. This is just a little self-assertion, trying to be happy with the person I am now instead of pining for the person I was.
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